Rabbit
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
Puns
Sometimes the smartest jokes are the stupidest ones. Prepare for some aggressive wordplay.
Forest
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
Bullfighters
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
Lion in a Hat
What do you call a lion wearing a hat?
A Dandy Lion.
What's Kermit the Frog's Middle Name?
What is Kermit the Frog's middle name?
The.
Old Hags
Do you know how old hags tell time?
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A witch-watch!
Plop Plop Plop
While on a game show, Justins had to identify a number of sounds. When she heard this: *laughter then plop, plop, plop* she identified it correctly right away. What did she say?
An audience laughing it's head off
AFRIKAANS JOKE (Toppunt Van Geraas)
Wat is die toppunt van geraas?
2 geraamtes wat woellig spyker op n sinkdak met n coke blikkie as n kondoom!
Door Knockers
Q: Why did the scientist install a door knocker on his door and not a door bell?
A: He wanted to win the No-Bell (Nobel) prize!
Duck
One day a duck walked into a drugstore and bought some lipstick. She walked up to the clerk and said, "Put it on my bill!"
Sticky
Question: What is brown and sticky?
Answer: A stick! Duh.
Black Market Drugs
The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills sales that occur on the black market.
The agents will be called "Pseudo Feds."
What Do You Call?
Q. What do you call a cow that gives chocolate milk?
A. An Utter Delight!
Cannibal
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was caught buttering up his teacher
Record Store
A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.
"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."
"Is that a record?" the caller inquired, puzzled in her turn.
"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."
Where There's a Will, There's a Way
A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will.
At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."
Melon
Why did the melon jump into the water?
Because it wanted to be a watermelon!
Clinton
Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex.
Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.
Clinton2
Did you hear Bill Clinton gave up playing his sax-a-phone?
He now plays his whore-monica.
Clinton 3
Why does Clinton wants a postage stamp issued in his image?
So he gets licked more often.
Clinton 4
Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours?
Clinton was showing her the proper way to take "dic"tation.
More Clinton
What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business?
The Oral Office.
More Clinton
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her resume?
"Sat on the Presidential Staff"
Still More Clinton
Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study?
He wants to show them his executive branch.