Stay Fit
Eat right, stay fit, die anyway!
One Liners
No long setups, no complicated backstories. Just the fastest laughs on the internet.
IRS
IRS... we've got what it takes, to take what you've got
Laugh
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
DNA
DNA, national dyslexic association
Kids
Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home.
Insanity
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
Listening
No one is listening to you until you make a mistake.
Dyslexics
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
DARE
DARE, to keep cops off donuts
On the Other Hand
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Beaver
Save a tree, eat a beaver!!
Fool
Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Grumpy
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
Unique
Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else!
Funerals
Always go to other peoples funerals, or they wont come to yours.
Walking
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Bills
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Nobody
Nobody's perfect-I'm a nobody.
Silence
Ask me about my vow of silence..
Courdory
Courdory pillows--they're making headlines.
Thesaurus
What is another word for Thesaurus?
Butter
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of bread.
Virginia
Her name was Virginia. They called her Virgin for short, but not for long!
Vaseline
And out of the night came the terrible scream,
"Who put the sand in the Vaseline!?"