Corner Room
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
When she comes out and says she found it.
Misc
A hand-picked collection of the top misc jokes updated for 2026. Perfect for sharing with friends and family.
True
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
Internet
What's the difference between a blonde and the internet?
Not everyone has been on the internet!
How Do You Fit...
How do you fit 4 gay guys on a chair?
Turn it upside down!
What Do Osama Bin Laden
What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common.
They both irritate bush!
Two Men Camping
2 men were out camping. At about 3:00 one man had to go to the bathroom. There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends said to wipe his butt with a 1 dollar bill. 5 minutes later the man came back with crap all over his hands. The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters!"
Midgets
What is grosser than gross?
When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice!
Pumpkin
What is the name for a bandaid on a pumpkin?
A pumpkin patch!
T.G.I.F
A Blonde is getting on an elevator and meets a gentleman on
board.
"T.G.I.F." she says.
"S.H.I.T" was his reply.
Puzzled she replied "T.G.I.F"
The gentleman was getting a little disturbed the the remark, so
he says again. "S.H.I.T.".
The Blonde leans over and whispers "THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY".
The gentleman responses with "SORRY, HONEY IT'S THURSDAY".
QUESTIONS
Can you go skinny dippin' if you're fat?
Is it possible to fight on a luv seat?
If you drink tap water can you tap dance?
by:lilpapa92
Blonde Driver
Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
Her blinker was on.
Rainy Day
How do you keep a blonde busy on a rainy day?
Tell her to touch the rainbow.
Blondes Go Fishing
Two blondes rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One blonde said to her friend,
"Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow."
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same blonde asked her friend, "Did you mark that spot?"
Her friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat."
The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"
TP Usage
A man and his friend are out camping and the first one needs to go to the bathroom and they have no toliet paper so he asks his friend what to do. His friend says just wipe it with your hand and smack it on a rock. So the man does so and smacks his hand on a rock and it hurts him really bad, so to reduce the pain he sucks on his hand.
Have You Ever Noticed
That sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears.
Sometimes when you're sad, no one understands your pain.
Sometimes when you're happy, no one sees your smile.
But you just have to fart once, and EVERYBODY knows.
Buried at Sea
Did you hear about the sailor who died, and wanted to be buried at sea by his 5 blonde daughters?
His daughters all drowned digging the grave.
Juicy Squirt
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Be Comfortable
Why don't you slip into something comfortable.
Like a coma.
Tutor
A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
Is it harder to toot or
To tutor two tooters to toot?
Broccoli
Broccoli, while not exoccoli,
Is within an inach of being spinach.
Blonde Driving
Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
A: Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people
Help! I'm stuck
Did you hear about the accident at the mall?
There was a power outage and a group of blondes was stuck on the escalator for 3 hours!
Beethoven
What is Beethoven doing today?
-Decomposing.
Marriage
A girl and her best friend were at a cafe. The girl said her boyfriend finally told her about marriage. Her best friend asked her what he said. "He is married and has 3 kids," she replied.