Women and A Tornado
How are women and a tornado alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
Misc
A hand-picked collection of the top misc jokes updated for 2026. Perfect for sharing with friends and family.
Funny Names
Ben Dover
Mike Hunt
Phil McCrackin
Ajock Strap
Anita Cock
Ipe Freely
Seymour Buttes
Atoms
Two atoms are walking down the street when one atom says to the other, "I think I lost an electron."
The other atom says "Are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm positive!"
Poland
What do you call a pretty woman in Poland?
A tourist
Ugly
What do you call something with 4 eyes, 3 noses, 7 ears, and 2 mouths?
Ugly!
Mr. Bush
Why did President George W. Bush go into a gorilla's nest in the jungle?
To be with his family!
Blonde Radio
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
YMCA
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They have spelt MACY'S wrong!"
Limerick
There was an old man from Purdue
whose limericks stopped on line two.
Which is heavier?
Which is heavier, 20 pounds of rocks or 20 pounds of sugar?
Their both 20 pounds! doy!
Rhyme
Roses are red,
Grass is green.
You have the shape
Of a washing machine.
Swiss
What's brown and has holes in it?
Swiss shit!
Agony
Definition of Agony?
One armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls
Indian Names
This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"?
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."
"Why is my sister named "Cornflower"?
"Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her."
"And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"?
"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."
"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"
Dumb Warning Labels
On clothes: do not iron while wearing.
On a baby carriage: do not fold while in use.
Water
How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
What is the square
What is the square root of 69?
Ate something (8....)
Mirrors
Q: You know what's gross?
A: When you look in a mirror!
Russian Redneck
Q:What do you call a 500 pound Russian that can bend you like a bendy straw?
A:Sir
Telegram
A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night to send his friend a collect telegram which read, "I am perfectly well."
A week later, the joker received a heavy parcel - collect - on which he had to pay considerable charges. Upon opening it, he found a big block of concrete which had this message, "This is the weight your telegram lifted from my mind."
Messed up
Q: What did the seismologist say when he messed up?
A: It's not my fault.
Graduated Cylinder
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have several degrees."
Laughter
Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper...
It doesn't permanently solve
any problems, but it makes things
more acceptable for a while!
Mugged
Late one night in the Washington D.C., a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money!" he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"