Keeping a Blonde Busy
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
Misc
A hand-picked collection of the top misc jokes updated for 2026. Perfect for sharing with friends and family.
Blondes & Santa
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were invited to a party.
On the way, the dumb blonde's car broke down. The smart blonde missed the bus. Two of Santa Claus' reindeer ran away.
Who got to the party first?
The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!
Coast Gaurd Bumper Sticker
This is off a Coast Guard bumper sticker:
Support Search and Rescue: GET LOST!
How Do You Get a Blonde to Laugh on Friday?
How do you get a blonde to laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday!
Blondesssss
What does a blonde do when she wakes up?
She goes home!
Why Are.....
Why are constipated people so mean and rude?
..because they don't give a crap!
Bungee Jump
What do hookers and bungee jump cords have in common?
They're both cheap, fast and if the rubber breaks, your dead!
Corner Room
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
When she comes out and says she found it.
True
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
What Do Osama Bin Laden
What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common.
They both irritate bush!
Blonde Driver
Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
Her blinker was on.
Be Comfortable
Why don't you slip into something comfortable.
Like a coma.
Broccoli
Broccoli, while not exoccoli,
Is within an inach of being spinach.
Blonde Driving
Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
A: Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people
Help! I'm stuck
Did you hear about the accident at the mall?
There was a power outage and a group of blondes was stuck on the escalator for 3 hours!
Beethoven
What is Beethoven doing today?
-Decomposing.
Batty Books ... final one!!! :<
A Hole in the Bucket by Lee King
Long Walk by Miss. D. Bus
The Playground by C. Saw
Fitting Carpets by Walter Wall
Around the World by Sir Cumfrence
Flexibility by Ben Dover
Bladder Controld by Idon P. Freely
Blonde and Brunette
A blonde and brunette jump off a cliff at the same time. Why did the brunette hit the floor before the blonde?
The blonde asked for directions!
Fat Man
An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a fat man are all going skydiving. When they get to jump the Englishman shouts, "God save England!"
The Scotsman shouts, "God save Scotland!"
The Irishman shouts, "God save Ireland!"
Then the fat man jumps and shouts, "God save whoever I land on!"
The Cab Driver
A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has more crowns. He says to an angel, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation." The angel says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?" The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep." The angel says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed!"
Ordering Soup
What kind of soup do you order at a gay Chinese resturant?
Cream of Yungi (Cream of Young Guy)
A Story about 4 Body's
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Testing a New Recruit
Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!
The Jellybean
Yo mamma so fat when she sat on a jelly bean it got lost between her butt and her backbone, and we have been looking for it still for 31 years.