Marines
Join the Marines: Visit exotic places, meet
interesting people and then kill them.
Misc
A hand-picked collection of the top misc jokes updated for 2026. Perfect for sharing with friends and family.
Bathroom Humor, Literally!
Q. If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the
bathroom and you are an AMERICAN when you come
out of the bathroom....What are you WHILE you
are in the bathroom?
A. EUROPEAN... of course!
Glass of Water
Why did a blonde take an empty glass and a glass full of water to bed?
She wasn't sure if she would get thirsty during the night.
Blow in the Ear
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
Thank you for the refill.
Round Room
How do you confuse a stupid person?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Black Box
You know that little indestructible black box that
is used on planes?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the
same stuff?
1990 vs. 1989
Q. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more
than 1989 American dollar bills?
A. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar
bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand
nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.
Mary Short For...
What is Mary short for?
For having no legs, of course...If you didn't have any, you would be short too.
Smart Blond?
What do you call a smart blond?
An Endangered species
Mission Impossible
What do you call a movie about a man trying to make a blond smart?
Mission Impossible
Pool Fire
What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool?
A blonde trying to put it out.
Intelligent Blonde?
What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever
A Pen in Space
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius.
The Russians used a pencil.
Wall to Wall
What did the wall say to the picture?
How's it hangin`?
Roses are Red
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I thought I was stupid,
Then I met you!
Bad Day
How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear, and she's looking for her pencil.
Mathematician
What do Constipated Mathematicians do?
Work it out with a pencil.
The Mistaken Drunk
A drunk stumbles into a confessional.
The priest on the other side hears someone enter but yet the man does not speak.
So the priest knocks on the wall of the confessional and hears the drunk say, "Forget it buddy, theres no toiletpaper in this one either!"
Poetic Meter
A decrepit old gas man named Peter
While hunting around for the meter
His torch he did light
He arose out of sight
And, of course, as a result, he totally, completely and utterly destroyed the meter!
911
Why can't you trust a blonde to call for an ambulance?
She can't find the 11 to call 911.
Oximoron
Q: What do you call an oxymoron?
A: A smart blonde!
Stereo
I put a blank tape in my TV and turned the volume all the way up. The mime next door went crazy and called the cops.
DMV
Did you hear about the director of the Department of Motor Vehicles who resigned on Tuesday? He tried to resign on Monday, but discovered he'd been standing in the wrong line.
How to Kill a Blond
Q. How do you kill a blond?
A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.