Fooled you
What's another name for a push-up bra?
False advertisement
One Liners
Welcome to the laugh factory!
We've parsed thousands of clean jokes, dad jokes, and puns to curate the absolute best 500+ into 20 categories. Check out some random highlights below, or pick a category!
411
Yo Momma is so dumb she had to call 411 to get the number for 911.
Yo Momma
I.Q.
Your IQ is so low, you have to dig for it!
One Liners
Generalizations
all generalizations are false
One Liners
Bush
How many George Walter Bushes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Luckily, only 2. The world can't handle many more idiots.
Lightbulb
Paper Over the Cracks
A blonde goes into a newsagent's office and asks for her usual paper.
The newsagent says, "Did you know your paper is going to cost more from tomorrow?"
"In that case, I'd better buy ten more of today's!"
Office
Hindu Swamis
Two Hindu swamis were in conversation.
One said to the other, "How did you like my latest book, 'The Art of Levitation'?"
His companion replied, "It kept me up all night."
Technology
DUMB
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to spell out the alphabet with M&M's.
Yo Momma
New Order
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
Food
#11 Redneck
You know you're a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.
Medical
Warning: Holes
I heard they were going to name a highway after Willie Nelson in Texas...
But be Warned: When taking this highway look out for pot holes!
Puns
Make-Up
Did you hear about the blonde who went shopping for lip-gloss just so she could pass the make-up exam?
School
What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
Food
Catering
A lonely wife brought a man she had just met at a bar home to her bedroom one evening when she thought her husband was out of town. They immediately tore each other's clothes off and started going at it. She sat up quickly in bed as she heard the key in the lock.
"Quick!" she said to the man, "it's my husband! You've got to get out of here quick!"
"Where's the back door?" the man asked as he grabbed his clothes.
"There isn't one," she replied.
"Where would you like one?" he asked.
Relationships
Joke
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. If this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Food
Chicken
You're so dumb, you tried to rip the lips off a chicken!
Food
Party
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party!
Yo Momma
So Fat...
Yo Mama is so fat, she went to buy a water bed and they put a blanket over the Altantic Ocean.
Yo Momma
Maths
The number you have dialed is imaginary.
Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
Kids
Peanuts
Yo momma so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts!
Yo Momma
Where did blonde jokes come from?
Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.
Relationships
Tooth Fairy
Q: What does the tooth fairy give for half a tooth?
A: Nothing. She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth
Puns
Polar Bear
A polar bear walked into a bar and said
"Can I please have a gin and............................................tonic?"
The bartender replied "Sure, but why the large pause?"
"I don't know, I've always had them!"
Puns
Foodprint
An agitated patron calls on to the blond waiter and inquired why there was a footprint on his meal.
"Well," the innocent-looking blond waiter replied. "You rushed in here, ordered an omelette and asked me to step on it."
Food