Lol
It's pretty bad if you start typing "lol" as if it were a sentence (Lol.)
Its worse if you start saying, "laugh out loud" in everday conversations.
It's absolutely horrible if you actually say, "l-o-l."
Technology
Welcome to the laugh factory!
We've parsed thousands of clean jokes, dad jokes, and puns to curate the absolute best 500+ into 20 categories. Check out some random highlights below, or pick a category!
Bad News
Two mates calles mik and mak went to the Australia vs England game. It was mik`s birthday, and mik gave mak a ride and mak took mik`s birthday present with him.He went to get it while mik wached the 4th over. Mak said to mik i`ve got some bad news for you buddy. Your car was actually a car bomb and blew up...but mik interupted by saying Well makky, mate I`ve got some bad news for you. what? mak asked. Ricky ponting`s out,he replied
Sports
QUESTIONS
Can you go skinny dippin' if you're fat?
Is it possible to fight on a luv seat?
If you drink tap water can you tap dance?
by:lilpapa92
Misc
So Ugly
Yo Mama's so ugly not even the tide would take her out.
Yo Momma
Peek-A-Boo
The female skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo)...
The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete, she is a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,
"Picabo, ICU".
Puns
Lightbulb
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, blondes usually screw in cars!
Lightbulb
T.V.
Yo momma's so stupid...
She site on the T.V and watches the couch.
Yo Momma
The Dress of Love!
An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.
The mother asks the daughter, "What are you doing naked?"
The daughter responds, "This is the dress of love."
When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband.
When her husband arrives, he asks her, "What are you doing naked?"
She responds, "This is the dress of love."
"Well," he says to her, "go iron it."
Relationships
Selective Hearing
What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes
to wear if we don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON, blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR blah,blah,blah,blah,
NO CLOTHES blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW!
Relationships
What Type of Snake
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said, "Sidney, are we the type of snake who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?"
The second snake says, "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
Animals
Class
Yo momma is so fat when she sits down in class she sits by everyone.
Yo Momma
Bush Visits a Classroom
President Bush was visiting a classroom where a teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the lesson clearer, he said, "Now, children, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run to my face."
"Yes, sir," one of the girls said.
"Then why is it," he continued, "that while I am standing upright the blood doesn't run to my feet?"
"Because your feet aren't empty," replied a boy in the back of the room.
School
A Small Boy was Lost...
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits."
Relationships
Dont Read This Boys
Q: How many Clowns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Paid Clowns - 5
Boys in school - 1000
Lightbulb
New York
Why are New Yorkers always depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
Misc
Bored Cow
What does a cow do for entertainment?
Listen to moo-sic.
Animals
A Letter to Santa
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Kids
101 = K on a C KB
101 = keys on a computer keyboard.
Programming
Wanna Go Huntin'?
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.
"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go huntin'?'"
"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.
"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"
Office
Four Little Animals
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
Kids
Frog Noises
A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room.
"Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, "as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said his grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland!!!"
Kids
Dear Santa,
Molly wrote a letter to Santa Claus one day.
Dear Santa,
Please give me a Workout Barbie and a new milkman because he is sleeping with Mommy.
Love,
Molly
Kids
Car Salesmen
Q. How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I'm just going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised.
Lightbulb
Car Dreams
A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car.
"The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"
"Relax," says the doctor; "you're just having an auto-body experience."
Medical