The ultimate premium-curated joke collection
We've compiled the funniest code-based humor so you don't have to git blame yourself for not laughing.
An office technician got a call from a blonde. The blonde told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
This will make your computer A LOT faster, and it is REALLY EZPZ! The thing is, most ppl lack the knowlege to use it.
1.Go to the START menu
2. Click My Computer
3. Right click (C:)
4.Click Format
5. Click Yes
6. Repeat on (D:), then (E:), then (A:)
7. TA DA!
FTR, if you do this, you will completely erase everything on your computer
A recent college graduate got hired by the human-development center of a large corporation to train the employees in proper dress code and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man who was casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
"Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" she said in a scolding tone.
"That's one of the benefits of owning the company," the man replied with a grin.
Abraham wanted to put Windows Vista on his computer, but Isaac was concerned: "But father, we don't have enough memory for that!"
"Don't worry, son, God will provide the RAM."
A man is bitten by a rabid dog he found wandering in his yard. Frantically, he rushes his computer and begins typing something. His neighbor walks in, and mentions to him that he need not worry, there is a cure for rabies.
He replies, "I know that; I'm finding where George Bush is right now!"
101 = keys on a computer keyboard.
Jack and Joe are in a diner where there's a computer who gives advice to the people in the diner. Jack starts talking about how the two are going to graduate from high school when a young boy walks in. He explains his problem to the computer, which gladly offers him advice. The boy walks out happily.
The computer comes over to Jack and Joe. Joe asks, "Hey, how come you never help us with our problems?"
The computer answers, "I'm just a computer. I'm not a miracle maker."
A boss of a computer company walked up to one of his workers.
"You're fired!" exclaimed the boss.
"I didn't do anything!" replied the confused worker.
The boss, happy with his answer, says, "I know. That's why you're fired!"
A man was walking through Beverly Hills selling door to door what he claimed to be the "Magic Elixir of Life".
Of course, the police arrested him and ran a computer check of him.
They found the man had quite a long record of such dealings. He was first arrested for that type of crime in 1660.
If Jesus was born on the computer age, he would just use the internet to spread his word unlike his time, he needs to journey across the world.