The ultimate premium-curated joke collection
Grab your cargo shorts and white sneakers. It's time for the ultimate collection of cheesy dad humor.
Your dad has something wrong with his brain. After his appointment, the doctor says,"You have a spider, a termite, a pig, a cloud, a piece of poo, a tongue, and a camera in your brain so you'll have to have no brain for years." Then the doctor took operation on his brain.
Everyone knows that common phrase, meaning, 'COME ON, I NEED TO GET LUCKY!' Well, whenever I need to get lucky, I say,
Daddy needs a new pair o' pants!
(Come on, winter is coming!)
A boy comes home from school and runs to his father. The boy says 'Dad, a boy in my class calls me a gay' . 'Oh yeah? Well then beat him up!' says his dad. The boy replies 'I can't dad!'. 'Why not son?'. The boy looking away says 'Because he's kinda cute'
An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the navy kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!"
Dad to his family: The phone bill is exceptionally high. You have to limit its use. I don't use this telephone. I use the one a the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this phone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home telephone. I always use my company mobile.
Maid: So what's the problem? We all use our work telephones!
"Dad, can I have the car keys?"
"Ok, but don't lose them. We will get the car in just seven years!"
Teenager: Dad, did you hear that Jake broke up with Taylor?
Dad: Oh no, another album.
This is what happen to a boy and his father: Son: dad i want to marry. Father: who do you want to marry? Son: your mother. Father: why do you want to marry my mother? Son: because you also marry my mother. :)