Dirt, Dirt, and More Dirt!
Earth Worm: Oh, I wish that darn evil Mister Barney hadn't chopped my brother into two sections!
Other Earth Worm: Why?
Earth Worm: Because, now I have two half brothers!
Animals
From talking dogs to confused ducks, explore our hilarious wildlife jokes.
Dog Face
If my dog's face looked like your face, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards!
More Dirt!!
What is it called when an insect kills themself?
Pesticide!
An Orangutan's Reading List
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books: the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Crabs
A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward herâbut he was walking straight and not sideways!
Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".
Q&A-1
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one
hand and four apples and three oranges in the other
hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an
elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Problems , He sleeps at night.