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Animals

From talking dogs to confused ducks, explore our hilarious wildlife jokes.

Dinosaur Theory

OK, let's consider the physical evidence.

The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year.

Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million years ago it was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs; the tallest ones, anyway

What Type of Snake

There where two snakes talking.

The 1st one said, "Sidney, are we the type of snake who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?"

The second snake says, "Why do you ask?"

The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"

Elephant

What do elephants always bring on holiday?
A trunk.

Pig

What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.

Fish

Which fish is the most valuable in the sea?
A goldfish.

Hot Pursuit

Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, "Sarge, why'd you stop?"

"You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

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