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Relationships

The secret to a happy marriage is a good sense of humor. Start here.

Lorena Bobbitt's Sister

Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.

She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition and Louella has been charged with a....

Misdewiener

Baby

I heard you got a baby.

Dad: Yes, and I am very happy.

So what about the wife?

Dad: She still doesn't know.

Can People be Taken Apart Like Machines???

A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"

"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother.

The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he'd like to screw the tail off his secretary."

Mother's Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

First Condom

A young couple decide to have sex for the first time so they go to the store to buy condoms. They find a popular brand and bring it to the register. The price on the box is $1.00 but when the cashier totals up the price it comes to $1.07. The couple asks what the extra 7 cents is for. The cashier replies back "tax." Then the young man says "I was wondering what held it on.

If Wives Were Newspapers...

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day."

HUSBAND : " I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!"

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